Calzones & Bonghits.

In my last post I mentioned that in order to free ourselves of disappointment we must first embrace Disappointment. This starts with everyday things such as eating and getting rad with the warlock or warlock 2 the raddening. Such mundane things as these are quite easy to fuck up and can make for a supremely Disappointing experience, or a Chicken Crunch Wrap Supreme(also terribly Disappointing).A typical evening can be spent renting horrible movies (what's the most Disappointing aspect of actually getting up, putting on shoes and leaving the goddamn house to do this? The fact that it's not net flicks and you're leaving the house?, not quite but getting there...is it the fact that you wont own these shit burgers after you've been through the agony of watching them? no, it's the fact that you'll have to get up, put on shoes, and leave the goddamn house again to return them, and you'll probably end up renting more shitty horror movies, thus completing the cycle, thus thus creating more Disappointment to embrace) and ordering out for the fast food world's most Disappointing consumable: Calzones. Yes I've said it, there's nothing more sad and lonely than the "pizza you don't have to share" (except maybe the poor slob who delivers it...the guy that stands in the fucking doorway and lets out all the heat, says nothing, expects YOU to provide the conversation when all you want is for him to get his ass out, hell you just tipped the guy two dollars! and now he wants to waste your precious heat and talk to you about his mutant progeny and the thing that actually accepted his abnormal seed: a mockery of human form and evolution). Now I know you're asking yourself: "how can you fuck up a pocket of flaky dough filled with delicious cheese, sauce and toppings?" A: there are several ways but the most important one lies in the act of ordering, paying for and eating the calzones. It makes no difference whether it's the Best Damn Calzone In The Land (or : BDCITL) or not, the Disappointment factor comes from the fact that you and your loser friends are sitting around watching Big Trouble in little China for 118Th time, eating shitty over-priced strombolis and doing bong hits of the worst schwag weed ever scored from some chubby diabetic gamer nerd whose actual REAL job it is to sell you over priced shitty weed. Fuck.

Yeah, smoking the herb isn't supposed to produce the kinds of Disappointing effects I've mentioned above and, unlike the easy-to-fuck-up-calzone, it's not really that easy to fuck up a tasty bong load, but lo and behold, some people are just full of surprises, aren't they?
Seriously, if you want a real taste of Disappointment, find yourself a weed man who accepts obscure nerdy card games in exchange for an eighth(or so) of commercial bud that smells like hay. Once you've heard the Bells of Dis (the clinking of a bong slide against the living room ashtray), finished the last crumb of Disappointment Dough (TM), and learned without really wanting to that John Carpenter was the deep voiced singer of the
"Big Trouble in little China" theme song, you can go to bed with the knowledge that another level of Disappointment has been attained.